The big regret

Life is getting more hard. I am getting feeling alone since I realized my mother only sees money in me, I try to sometimes believe she has good in her but all good in her doesn’t seem to exist as I thought. All she needed was my money and from my benefits from mental health yet also me in general.

I also realized my mom is greedy, recently I had gone through mental issues of my sadness. I wanted to talk about it to my mother almost for a month when she has free time however all she does is sit on a phone playing those pesky mobile games. My mother once has called me by name and one of them was “Idiot”. And I feel upset, previously I trusted my mother now I am emotionally isolated. She does not feel like a mother now to me she feels like a careless stranger. Darn, I have a big regret that I could have told everyone my life living in that family when I still had the chance to have a better family. Now it’s too late probably, I am 22 Now. I kinda sigh with pain, that even my stepfather does not show me kindness. I feel sad and lonely.

All I need is a better family that cares about me. I kinda wish I had my childhood made more child-like instead of mature and more known of everything. I wish I had a better and much caring family because I regret being with this family I have obtained through.

My brother sometimes takes the fun out of the disability I have and my stepfather nor my mother does not care instead they tell me just to move on.

My stepfather is a racist, homophobic, and much more that I do not seem to find any interest in him.

My mother only cares about the financial side of me and uses me for her own.

This life is sure is torture. I mean I have come through so many obstacles in my life but I still have hope of living. Because by end of the day, I know for sure I will be awarded for making it through. Brick walls can be broken if you tried using special equipment meant to break them and that special equipment is believed in hope. Yes, it will take time, but life will achieve its true form through that wall. So what I am saying staying positive is what is needed at these urgent times even if it seems hard I believe I can be positive than anyone can be.

Thanks for reading hope to see you in the next post of my blog.
Goodbye and see you next time.