Warning this is a venting content about my mother is very harsh, so if your find this cruel please stop reading this. Okay so to be honest with you my mother never shown much interest in me in my life. It may sound mean but let me provide more information and all my childhood my mother has shown me how lifeless I can be. What I mean is she makes me appear as a use of her income. Always when I asked her for some money, she refused. At the time I fully understood we weren’t poor nor rich but she did have my child benefits at that time, All I saw in my perspective my mother was buying a ton of cigarettes and yet using them. I didn’t notice at that time that was wrong. Every time when I was depressed my mom did not help me as she could not even read my emotions.
As I have progressed through my history I remember once I found a fake gem. I assumed it was a real diamond I shown to my mom at that time, And she snatched it from my hand and said “give me a look” in a rude manner as she looked at me with that selfish look. Then she gave it back and said its plastic. What I learned on that particular day, that my mom is greedy for more money than ever now I think about it.
They are more reasons why I don’t really like my mother during to how ignorant she is towards my past and the depression that I go through. At some time recently she took some money from my bank account and said I am worth half of what she took. She also has said I gotta pay for the bills and taxes and bonuses like for food and etc. She threatened me that If I do not pay she will send me to my father. (Where I have become ill after the hospital story I said earlier)
Now my mother is being more greedy than ever and what I realize she always is on her phone and not really showing true respect to me when I need to talk about something she was never there. Not even a fun talk nor therapy talk. She refused to show support to me and yet I feel upset. When I wanna talk to her she always does not have time for me not even going to the park and having mother and son moments. She always busy talking to her friends online which she knows also in real life. One thing I can say about my mother she is not the good mother I had. She could show more support.
She sometimes thinks I play on the computer too long and have a computer addiction illness yet she does not get that I do not have any friends in real life. Every time I try to make friends in real life people say I am annoying etc. I am still unaware of why I try to study what I am doing wrong and how I can improve. But the reason why I am more on computers too long because that is the only place I have my online friends, I do not have many friends in real life so I make friends across the internet instead. My mother always assumes the reason I don’t have friends is that I talk about Minecraft all the time. But that is not true. I only use Minecraft as a digital world for me to socialize that game helped me become the great person I am today.
Thanks for reading. I am sorry what I put here is like depressing but I use this blog as a source of venting. Once again thank you for reading and hope to see you once again later.